You know you’re a new nurse when….

…..you stand in the supply closet looking for something three minutes longer than normal, then realize what you want isn’t even in there

….you crawl into bed at night, click on the heating pad, and finally allow your back muscles to relax for the first time all day

….you talk about the most disgusting things at lunch (I won’t go into detail on that one)

….you are seized with panic when you hear the “Code Blue” called overhead, and you have a mini heart attack when “Code Blue Pediatric” is called overhead

….your favorite part of the day is when you get to reassure the wife of a patient who has been having seizures all day

….your other favorite part of the day is your lunch break

…..you get away with pulling sticky electrodes off a very hairy patients chest all because “your so cute you can get away with it.”

….you stumble over your words when calling the doctor, insert a lot of useless information, and have to rewrite the orders he gave you three times

….you lay awake at night plotting how you are going to make things go smoothly the next day, therefore not getting much sleep

…..you carry your drug guide with you on your C.O.W. (computer on wheels) because you don’t know what all these medications are yet

…..your patients IV pump beeps at you saying “occluded,” when after too many embarrassing moments where you are baffled you realize it’s “occluded” because you never hooked up the tubing to the patients actual IV (yeah, that was a good one.)

In three days I will transition to being a night nurse. Beware crabby , sleep-deprived posts to come.