Oh she was hilarious. I've had funny patients before, but this one was unique. She came in for routine surgery. Everything looked great. She was doing everything we were telling her, doing her exercises, eating well. She had a mouth on her. I could tell she was the backwoods type and I kind of like that.
Every time I tried to get out of her room to move on to the next needy patient, I was drawn back in by something she would say, ask, or make a complete random comment about. ON top of all that, she was boy-crazy like a little school girl. Mind you, she's in her 70's. Uh-huh, no joke.
Things like this came out of her mouth:
"Have you seen that physical therapist? Gawd, he is fine."
"What about that guy that brought up my bedside commode? Did you see his blue eyes?"
"Oh I gotta watch my show, that Jim guy is on and he is just beautiful."
I made the mistake of asking her what she thought about our surgeons....
"Oh my gawd, that Dr. McSexy(I'm filling this in to protect privacy, and he's not that sexy for the record) he is just gorgeous. Do you know if he's married?"
Yes, people, that is what I dealt with 3 nights in a row. Her roommate was forced into being her new best friend and talking boy talk while they healed from surgery.
On my last morning, I walked into her room with the day nurse to take over her care. I reported off, gave the highs and lows of the shift and gave her an opportunity to add anything she might want noted. She gladly took that time to talk about herself. As I started to say goodbye, she held out her arms for a hug. I walked up, reached across her for an awkward "your in bed hug" and she kissed me right on the neck! She was so thankful for my care, gracious for all I had done for her. I appreciated her gratitude very much. I can say I haven't received too many hugs from patients, but this one goes right to the top. Best ever. From the funkiest patient around.