You Know I Hate It

If you’re not new to my blog, you know I’m not good with change or goodbyes.  Both have arrived.  I knew from the beginning that Kristen and Sydney would have to leave at some point.  They are part of a beautiful family, and it’s time for that family to be together again.  I need to focus on being happy for them.  And after this blog post, I will.  But right now, I need to wallow in my hate of goodbyes.

For six months this cutie has been a member of my household:

 How can I not be sad she’s leaving.  In the morning when I get home from work I look forward to seeing her sweet little bald head that grows more hairs everyday, sitting in the kitchen heating her porridge.  I can see her from my car.  Immediately, all the stress and frustration are washed from my slate and I just want to scoop her up.  And I do. 

I love the days where we just hang out.  Play baby.  Have tea parties.  Chase her up the stairs and wait for her to plead with me to throw her on the bed.  It’s routine.  Her kisses taste like bananas, because she eats them endlessly.  She trips over her belly after dinner because she’s eaten so much.  She’s grown so much since she’s been here, but I’ve barely noticed because when you see them everyday you don’t realize the change.  I’ll miss all of that.  So much.

Then there’s my amazing sister.  She knows all of me.  We understand each other’s sense of humor.  People thought we were the lesbian couple with the baby more than once in these past six months, but who cares.  We’ve laughed at all the same things.  We get frozen yogurt on my nights off.  We talk endlessly about nothing and everything.  She listens to my stories when I get home from work.  She’s been a shoulder to cry on for those few nights when my heart was swollen in pain.  She even cried with me.  We joke about our parents and their technological deficiencies.  And we’ve listened to more Mat Kearney than ever in my life.  Kristen and I are altogether so different, yet so alike.  We are sisters.  We’ll always be close, but I’ll miss being so close, as in the same house, close.

I was so blessed by these 6 months.  How often do you get to play such a big role in your niece’s life?  I’ll have a special bond with her all her life.  We were once roommates!  I wouldn’t change it.  But I’ll miss them.  Sorry for such a long post, but you just have to know how special these two people are to me and why they will be missed so much.