Starting a new job is probably one of the more difficult things you'll do in life. And most of the time, you're doing it because of a choice you made. And we ask ourselves, why did I want to do this again? That last job wasn't that bad. That last town wasn't that bad. I had a lot to be thankful for. Why do I want to go through this anguish again?
But alas, here I am again, a new job, a new staff, new equipment, new everything. And I'm decimated to a completely incompetent nurse(in my mind, that is). I know you're all going to be like, be patient, give yourself a break, and I know, thank you for that, but for right now all I'm surrounded with is the struggle.
Those first few weeks or months at a new job are bad. No matter how good you are, or quick you are with computers, it is still hard. It will behoove you to just hang in there, keep going, but recognize how bad it really is. Any skill I had with equipment or confidence I've built up, is all gone now. When I scan meds to give to a patient, and the computer doesn't like it, I have to go grab someone to walk me through the right way, all in front of the patient. This will knock any confidence into the Grand Canyon, far far away. Your patients may say, "Oh are you new? How long have you ben a nurse?" I can hear the fear in their voice. When I go to initiate a PCA pump, something I could do in my sleep, but don't, I have to grab someone because I can't figure out how to get the key in the machine. You get the idea. I walk into my patients room and in my best tootie fruitie voice I treat them like Queen Elizabeth, and all because I'm trying so hard. I want them to like me. I laugh at my co-workers jokes even when I don't get them, all because I'm trying so hard.
I'm trying so hard. All to prove myself. So show that I'm good at this. To show them they can trust me. It's exhausting and I wonder how long it will take me at this job to finally stop trying so hard and just be the normal nurse I usually am. To just treat people how I treat all my patients, my co-workers, myself. Just tying a knot and holding on and waiting it out.
6 comments:
I will attempt no nauseating platitudes; I will concur that you are in the thick of hard, awful stuff. :(
Then can I call?
Correction~~ When can I call?
Starting a new job is never easy...ever. You are prayed over and loved by so many. If you ever want to get away for the weekend, P-town is just a short 1.5 hr drive away :)
Yep, it sucks. No easy way around it. But you've got an awesome weekend away where you will be surrounded by the people who love you best! Hang on to that!
Kelsy, we are a match made in blogging heaven..."behoove" is one of my signature words! I must ask, how is everything going with your fellow nurses? Are you being treated like a baby nurse again? Are they exasperated with you? I seriously doubt it. You are going to do fine. Me, however, my first day of class is Monday the 15th. I am on edge. I must make an 85 on my my final pathophysiology test Tuesday to pull an A out of the class. So, it will behoove me to get some studying done rather than blogging!! Have a lovely week and swing by my blog-o-Rama when you get an inkling. I need a fan!
Been there done that and the sucky part is it usually takes a good 6 months to a. get used to new equipment and charting, b. prove you actually know a thing or to, and c. build not only working relationships but friendships with co-workers....there no sugar coating with me and you and all I can say is hang in there Ms. Presley and I hope it will be a short ride to the other side! I love you friend!
Post a Comment