The "F" Word

So there's a certain word in nursing that when used is never a joke.  Foley......The brand of catheter that most all hospitals use.  Catheters are used to drain urine from the bladder using a "small" rubber hose that is inserted into the urethra and up to the bladder where the urine sits.  Usually using a 16 french for size, sounds small right?  Do you get the picture?

Often times a catheter is inserted for reasons that a patient is unable to empty their bladder fully.  In that case we don't want them sitting there brewing a UTI while in our facility, so we take matters into our own hands, literally.  Females usually don't have too much of an issue with this, but drop the "f" word to a male, and he'll be saying things like, "Uh, maybe I should get up again and try to go," or "Can we run the water?"  When unable to follow-through with that, the catheter is inserted, unfortunately.  Then of course things like this are being said, "Oh get that thing outta there!" or "That's terrible!" or "Agghh!"
Contrary to male belief, nurses do not take pleasure in this.  Putting a "foley" in a patient is done under sterile procedure and can be terribly awkward, depending on the age of the patient.
Not only is this uncomfortable, obviously, but this can cause major psychological issues for some patients.  No joke, I once told an older gentleman that I was going to have to put a foley catheter in him and he immediately starting vomiting.  Then instead of putting the catheter in, I was calling the doctor getting some Zofran or Phenergan ordered to keep him from projectile vomiting on his nurse while she cathed him.  Smart guy, if you ask me.
The moral of the story is: If you are every hospitalized for one reason or another, make sure you are either really good at starting a flow of urine, or that you can divert your nurses attention enough to get her to forget about the foley for a bit while dealing with something else.  How's that for advice, boys?