A Year Ago Today

Do you know what today is?  A year since one of the worst days ever.  My state board exams.  The NCLEX.  National Counsel Licensure Exam.  In other words.....repulsive.  I wanted to share with you something I wrote after the day had come and gone and all my fears were relieved.  I will never have to take that test again(I smiled as I wrote that.)
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NCLEX
The day came and went.  February 5th.  I woke up early, way before I needed to be up.  Felt sick.  Drank my coffee.  Still feel sick.  Tried to choke down some toast.  Mom and Dad called to pray for me.  They love me.  Upset stomach.  I cried while they prayed.
Driving to the testing center I feel this strange sense of doom.  I've prepared all that I can, I'm relatively smart, I should be able to do this.  Yet, that one little inkling of a doubt leaves me feeling like death is only a breath away (Oh, and yes, I can be very dramatic in my brain.)
The test center staff was very kind.  They tried to alleviate fears.  I check myself in.  Fingerprinted.  Picture taken.  Signature. Then fingerprinted again.  Escorted to my desk.  Pockets checked.  Sitting there my heart is pounding around 95-100 beats per minute.  I know, I took my pulse.  I'm a nerd.  I'm taking the test.  Staying calm is much easier said than done.  I'm trying to use all the techniques I was taught, but feel they don't work with these questions.  My mind is playing games with me, saying "You are missing all of these."  I lay my head in my hands, pray to God, please let me pass, I will lose it if I don't.
Finally after two and a half hours, seventy seven questions later, the screen turns blue.  My heart stops.  It was over.  Walking out to my car, I feel as if throwing up will come at any moment.  I'm crying.  Again.  Trying to figure out who to call.  I totally failed that test.  I don't even remember what my questions were, what it asked, my brain is complete mud.
The next two days are awful.  I'm crying every fifteen minutes.  My poor parents.  I stayed at the house all weekend trying to get my mind off things.  I try to prepare myself and others for my failure, so that just in case I do fail, it won't be such a blow to the heart(and the pride).  I even have myself convinced.  My mind continues to play games with me.  There is no way I passes that test, no way.  Wait, I had to have passes, the last question I answered I know was right, that has to be good right?  I must have passed.  Oh, I just want my score.
6:00am Sunday.  I get up early.  I know my scores are posted.  My mom sneaks up the stairs to the computer to be with me.  Clicking the results button....click it....just click it.  I click it.
PASS
Four little letters that instantly heal me.  I cry, again.  Mom screams.  Dad wakes up, runs up the stairs, hugs me.  Still crying.  It's all over.  I did it.  We did it.  I couldn't have done it without my parents help.  They were so encouraging.  They are my people.  No more worries.  I'm smart.  I only had seventy seven questions.  The least you can get is seventy five.  The computer deemed me competent a nurse at that point.  That's really good.  It's really good.  So good.