I'm Kelsy. I'm a nurse. I work the night shift on a crazy surgical unit and you would not believe the stuff that happens when sick people sleep. To hear more about that and other stories read on....

Monday, September 20, 2010

Cratter.

A mix between cranky and bitter. Having a week off work and sleeping at night, in the dark, will make you bitter to go back to work. I've been a crankypants lately about working night shift. This is to be expected I'm sure, but still. I gaze in at my patients snoring, counting sheep and I can't help but want to crawl in bed and force them to make room for me. Especially my confused 94 year old darling, who is as sweet as a fuzzy peach. She likes to sleep with lots of blankets on her just like me. And if I couldn't sleep (which I know I would, because I'm exhausted), she would entertain me because she is hilarious. Last night when she was getting her dentures in, she reached for them out of the cup and said, "Come here teethies, ahh gotcha!" and every time I move her she says, "Oh my butt, my butt, my butt!" and last night when I got to work she was watching VH1, no joke, and she was totally watching it, not dozing off, actively watching.

It's quite entertaining though to experience sick people getting a good night of sleep. Here are a few examples:
1. When someone is sleeping so well that their tongue is hanging out of their mouth and you have to wake them up. They have to take a minute to wipe the drool off their face.
2. When someone is sleeping so well that their dentures fell out and are laying on their shoulder, then they start laughing in their sleep. (Now that lady cracked me up)
3. When they sleep so well they yell out "two dollar bill," several times in their sleep. (That lady about gave me a heart attack when she yelled that out, caught me a little off guard and I about fell off my rocker.)

Oh, I just yearn for normal sleep patterns again. Night shift is funky and I'm being a baby about it right now because I'm tired. I want to drool in my sleep.

3 comments:

Julie said...

This post cracked me up so much! At least you've got interesting people. I think the things people (well mostly Cory) say in their sleep are so funny.

And I hear you about being cranky about your sleep patterns being messed up. Mine have been for 7 1/2 months (well, longer if you count pregnancy) and sometimes all that would make a person happy would be 8 solid hours of sleep at night. Is it too much to ask??? :) Hang in there.

Sue said...

This post cracks me up also. You sound exhausted and hilarious more than cranky and bitter. If you are making up great new words like cratter you cannot be too bitter. Maybe you just need to whine a bit (or drink some wine?) Did you notice that both you and Kristen have the word 'butt' in your latest posts? Anyhow-- I like you new word.

Unknown said...

haha sounds like me talking in my sleep!!! TWO DOLLAR BILL!! haha