Obviously I've been in a little bit of a dry spell. Just not really sure what to write about. Of course I always have a million and one things I could write, but a lot of it would probably be too much and maybe a little boring. The mind of this girl can get a little crazy sometimes.
But I want to let you in on a few thoughts I've had recently. Nothing to do with healthcare, my job, or violent patients.
So here goes: You know when you have something really good standing in front of you. Its yours. There is nothing to worry about. The only thing that gets in the way is you. Your own issues. Your own insecurities. An example would be this: A donut. I love donuts. So good. Fluffy, sweet, and oh the maple frosting (if thats your fancy). So you order the donut, it's sitting in front of you and your about ready to dig in. Those thoughts float through and say, "Are you sure you wanna eat that?" "This is gonna go straight to me hips." "Hey that lady is eying my donut, I better shove it in my mouth before she steals it." Okay, that last one doesn't usually happen, unless I'm eating a donut with my dad, but you get the idea. It's our own choice to ruin that sweet moment before you take that first bite of the donut.
It's just like that when you have something really cool going on in your life. Maybe it's a new pregnancy. Maybe a new job. Maybe a person, place or thing. It could even be the littlest thing. This is my own issue, but I am constantly thinking about when it will be taken away from me. When will it fizzle. When will I get fired. When will something happen and I have to move. When will I lose it. Maybe I'm just trying to be prepared and ready myself for whatever may happen, but in the process it takes the joy out of the process. I ask myself, why do I do that? Yes, I have past examples when I've been let down and extremely frustrated, so it's natural that I would tend toward these thoughts, but why am I focusing on the past?
Have you had this experience? Something really great is going on in your life. You're super excited about it, but there is always that little thought in the back of your head, preparing you for the downfall. I guess if thats you, because it's me, I want to say this:
Let it go. I don't want those thoughts invading the goodness that God is showing to me. If the downfall comes, I know I have a great God that will pull me up by my bootstraps again. Let those doubtful thoughts be fleeting. Embrace the goodness in your life now.
Happy last day of the love month! Tomorrow is March!!