The other day at work I was finishing report, when a Nurse practitioner I work with asked me for some help. He said, "Has the patient in room 'whatever' had that much drainage all night?" I said, "Well at the beginning of my shift there wasn't a lot, but it was oozing a bit." He said, "Well, would you mind grabbing me when you go to change it? I want to see the incision." Okay, I can do that.
So when the time comes, right at the end of my shift, when I love to stay late to change dressings(insert sarcasm), I grab that NP and tell him I'm going to change the dressing.
We head into the patients room. This patient was a nice little man, with a little bit of a mental deficit, but super kind and had a great sense of humor. We got him up on this side so I could take the old dressing off and allow the NP to take a look at the incision. The NP was being super helpful, which was totally a surprise as he is usually rude and bossy. I took the dressing down and NP asked me to spread my fingers in a 'peace' sign and push down on either side of the incision to see what kind of oozing I could create. Super cool, right?
So I push down with my fingers on either side of the patients incision, and right as I do so the patient lets out the longer, funniest FART of my life. It felt like it lasted a lifetime.
And then I died. Laughing.
I was almost doubled over, with my hands still on the patient, laughing. I know, super unprofessional. I just couldn't help it. My patient's only response was "Oh sorry, I farted. Did I poop?" Nope.
NP's only response was, "I love when that happens first thing in the morning."
I died. Literally. I walked out to my car from work that shift and just died. Of laughter.
It was worth staying late for.