The beauty of confusion

Special, special people are the many souls who suffer from dementia.  This awful disease can turn someone into the most happy, most "go with the flow" type, or they can flip a switch and become nasty, angry, and combative.  If I suffered from this I think I would be combative as well.  Never knowing what was going on, where you were, why you don't know who anyone is would make me want to throw a punch or two.
Often confused patients are the most fun to hang out with because they say the darndest things.  Plus you can say or refer to them in whatever way you want because it's not going to make much of a difference to them.  I say things like "Hey girlfriend!" or "What's up Sparky!" To which I usually can get a pretty good smile and that's why I continue.  One patient even responded with, "What's up with you, baby?"
So back to my story... I had patient this week who suffers from advanced dementia and has turned into an angry, frustrated man.  I was trying to get him to take his pills, which was taking some major convincing on my part.  I had hidden the pills in applesauce and was doing my best to make the sauce sound as tasty as I could, I may have lied and told him I made it myself.  He then decided we needed to make a deal.  He stated, "I'll eat the applesauce if you go out in that field there and get that bottle for me."  I said, "Okay, you take a bite and I'll go get the bottle."  Did I mention he was having hallucinations, hence, the field in his hospital room?  Patient states, "No, no missy, we made a deal, you get the bottle and I'll take a bite."  Smart little man.  So I say, "I can't reach the bottle."  Pt says, "Well I can't reach it either, why do you think I asked you to get it for me?!!"  
Alas, I gave up trying to force the pills in him.  The catch 22 of it is that he was in pain and was angry at me for that, but I couldn't get him to take any pills and had nothing for IV pain medicine for him.  Such is life with the confused patient.
As I sat at the nurses station I could hear him having a conversation with someone, yet there was no one in the room......"Well,  hi Stan...."  Smiles on all nurses within earshot.  Priceless.