My First Memory

I titled this post “My First Memory” because I know I will remember this patient.  I take care of so many people it is hard to always remember every patient, but this one I’ll remember and it will go down in my memory as the first at this new job.

The last two nights I took care of a person.  This person had been in an accident that left them with major brain injury, and broken bones.  The patient’s spouse had witnessed the accident, and you could see from the look on their face when they looked into the eyes of their loved one, that moment has left a permanent scar on their heart. 

The patient had short-term memory loss and woke up night one at 3:30am asking where, what happened, and can they talk to their spouse please?  I finally got a hold of the spouse (which I felt awful for calling at that terrible time, but it was clear the patient needed so badly to hear that familiar voice).  When I put the patient on the phone with their spouse, I heard their voice crack, tears welling in their eyes, that moment of knowing it was all going to be okay just by hearing that well-known voice of a partner.

When I took them, patient and spouse, out to the car to meet up with their transportation home early in the morning the next day, my breath caught in my chest.  Their love for one another, and staying by each other’s side, in sickness and in health, was so profound.  I helped the patient into the car, touching their arm, telling them “It was a pleasure caring for you.”  I turned and hugged the spouse.  It was a special moment of knowing that a hug was needed.  The patients spouse said, “Thank you so much.  Have a great day.  Actually, have a great life.”  I said “You too.”  We knew we’d probably never see each other again, so it was fitting.

They left an imprint on my heart.  It was a much-needed feeling of making a difference.  As I drove home I almost missed my exit through my teary eyes.  And this is why I’m a nurse.